soooo we're moving. tomorrow. at 8 AM. bah.
it is just so strange to be packing up all my stuff for good, knowing that after tomorrow i might never be in this house again... this house, where i have spent the last 14 years of my life. i can't -- and would rather not -- imagine it with different people, different furniture, different colors. this is my home, damnit.
and man, all the memories! my mom found the hats my sisters and i were wearing when we left the hospital, as well as our little bracelets. so tiny! and our 1-year photograph outfits and some size 2 shoes... i can't believe i was ever that small! and pictures/slides of my mom in europe when she was in college, and family portraits from when my parents were still married... and their wedding...
then there's a huge gap where i threw away my gradeschool crap (except of course the yearbooks), and then all my stuff from high school, starting around sophomore year. like all the music from cinderella, which i finally threw away the other day; little snippets on notebook pages with song lyrics and dramatic ramblings. and man, were those interesting. i thought my life so profoundly changed by the comings and goings of certain individuals... and maybe in some ways, i was right. part of me ached to remember how strongly i had felt, how all of that was gone; but reading those little diary-like passages, i definitely smiled more than anything. i smiled at how silly i was, how trapped! i thought i understood those feelings, but i was just a little girl beginning to learn, albeit the hard way. and now? i am free. i will probably always remember, but i will never wait for a call or an email. that door is closed, and so many more have opened. so this is what it feels like to move on. :)
alright, more of this sappy crap at a later time! i have to go hose off crap from the basement. oh joy.