Just a Small-Town Girl

so i just remembered i have this thing and that other people do too. strrrraaaannnnnge.
if only i actually had the time to lj-stalk everyone...

le sigh.

but my ed psych paper calls. and i would LOVE for it not to suck.

eh, can't have everything...

sometimes i play this game where i type in random urls to see if they exist. yeah, i was bored. anyway, i did that and found my dream house!!!!

http://www.sked.com/indexsked.html

new year's resolutions:

lose the freshman 15
be more efficient and get better grades
get practicing up to 2 hours a day
stop worrying about boys


i can dream...

ahhhh.... i miss you all SO much!!! seriously. i mean, the people here are great, but it's not the same thing as having real friends who won't run away when i do weird shit.
i just put some old pics on my bulletin board, which probably was not such a hot idea... one of which is the picture from the herald of mr. chase's final bow. i just about cried. i also put up my abortion punchcard (that will be fun to explain), a dixieland delights card, some pics from germany, fred's senior picture (oh i have to get hammy's up there too), and this adorable picture of my sisters and me all at the piano when i was like 3. *sniff* oh, and one of karen being a weirdo. but that goes without saying. ;-)

i'm uber stressed at the moment as well... i have a shitton of homework to do, but i'm exhausted and my power nap failed miserably. poop. and i reallyreallyreally need to practice... happy birthday franzi. (6:29)
happy birthday me.

hokay i should go and stop being depressed. it is not really helping me.

meh.

soooo we're moving. tomorrow. at 8 AM. bah.

it is just so strange to be packing up all my stuff for good, knowing that after tomorrow i might never be in this house again... this house, where i have spent the last 14 years of my life. i can't -- and would rather not -- imagine it with different people, different furniture, different colors. this is my home, damnit.

and man, all the memories! my mom found the hats my sisters and i were wearing when we left the hospital, as well as our little bracelets. so tiny! and our 1-year photograph outfits and some size 2 shoes... i can't believe i was ever that small! and pictures/slides of my mom in europe when she was in college, and family portraits from when my parents were still married... and their wedding...

then there's a huge gap where i threw away my gradeschool crap (except of course the yearbooks), and then all my stuff from high school, starting around sophomore year. like all the music from cinderella, which i finally threw away the other day; little snippets on notebook pages with song lyrics and dramatic ramblings. and man, were those interesting. i thought my life so profoundly changed by the comings and goings of certain individuals... and maybe in some ways, i was right. part of me ached to remember how strongly i had felt, how all of that was gone; but reading those little diary-like passages, i definitely smiled more than anything. i smiled at how silly i was, how trapped! i thought i understood those feelings, but i was just a little girl beginning to learn, albeit the hard way. and now? i am free. i will probably always remember, but i will never wait for a call or an email. that door is closed, and so many more have opened. so this is what it feels like to move on. :)

alright, more of this sappy crap at a later time! i have to go hose off crap from the basement. oh joy.

but you should watch this. it's hilarious.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CvvFiZyEyTA

jesus i wish i could play like that....